Ich Bin Verletz
by Ms. Mumpsimus
Summary: Kanda greatly believes that every man is an island. But when a certain young man with a murky past came to his life, all his beliefs were suddenly thrown up in the air. And now, the only one person that he finds himself truly interested with, is the only person who has absolutely no interest in him.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM.

**Warning/s:** Unbeta'ed. Rewritten chapter. I changed some information that would probably affect the original course of the story. I also rated this M-just to be safe. I don't want one my stories to be deleted anymore.

**Author's Note:** I wrote the original (crappy) _Ich bin verletzt_ last September 2010. And now, after stalling for almost two years, I am now officially rewriting this story as an apology for my readers who have waited far too long for my update. I've been dreaming of this story for the last three months of my sleep-deprived life and I guess that was my cue to write again and finish this story once and for all. The rewritten version would certainly not be error-free – you have been warned (I don't have a beta, you see) but I'll try my best. If you think it is worth reviewing, then by all means, review. And if not, well, let's just say... kjsdfjnsafkakslfmnak.

Kidding.

**Summary:** Kanda greatly believes that every man is an island. But when a certain young man with a murky past came to his life, all his beliefs were suddenly thrown up in the air. He became instantly interested to the painfully shy and recluse young man who was very different from others. And now, the only one person that he finds himself truly interested with, is the only person who has absolutely no interest in him.

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**Prologue**

_"It's so hard to forget pain, _

_but it's even harder to remember sweetness. _

_We have no scar to show for happiness. _

_We learn so little from peace."_

**― Chuck Palahniuk, _ Diary _**

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"P-Please… Let m-me go…"

The boy was squirming, lying particularly naked under a white cloth in an enormous bed inside an unbelievably huge house. His hands were not-so-pretty tied up on the headboard of a bed by a number of smooth and gentle cloths but for the weeping boy, it was like barbed wires that were trying to cut off his wrists.

"Please… Somebody help me…" The sobbing continued. He was practically crying since he was brought here yesterday and it was damn understandable that he looked devastatingly horrible right now with the red and swollen eyes.

He tried to fight.

But there were just too many of them.

His voice was also getting raspy and his throat felt like he was trying to swallow a porcupine.

"A-anyone… Please… Somebody…"

He didn't understand.

He was just walking home from school when he was suddenly surrounded by four tall men, all were wearing black suits. The next thing he knew, he was being suffocated (or at least that was what he thought) by a piece of clothing and then he inhaled something that instantly made him dizzy.

A few more second passed when he finally understood what was happening to him.

And fear crept onto him like plague.

What did they want?

What was happening to him was clearly kidnapping but he didn't have anything valuable in him. He wasn't one of those people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, living gregariously by the comforts of money.

Allen's mind was beginning to get foggy. His eyes were now beginning to drop, his limbs started to betray him.

He needed to get away.

"I... don't have anything in me... please... let me... go," slurring, he tried to convey his message even if he knew it was futile. His sight was also beginning to dim, but he tried to focus it to the people around him. Surely, someone could be watching right now and then, he was hoping they would call for help and then everything would gonna be fine again. He would go home; he would feed Timcanppy, and then study for his exams tomorrow.

His life was pretty boring but he wouldn't want it any other way.

He loved being boring. He loved his tedious life.

He worked in the evening and go to school in the morning.

Really, there must be some kind of a mistake. He was an inert teenage boy, someone who shouldn't be getting any interest from the outside world. He tried so hard to stay hidden – from his prying teachers, from his classmates, from the orphanage.

He didn't want any of their help.

He didn't want to be complacent by their half-assed help again.

He had enough.

When he woke up, he was firmly bounded on the bed where he was lying. His sight was still slightly weak, but at least, he wasn't feeling dizzy anymore.

But the fear he felt before he passed out intensified when he realized that he was now hemmed in some unknown place and no one knew he was here.

"Where... where am I?"

His breathing escalated more when he realized that he was naked.

Why was he naked?

Where was this place?

_Whatthehell'shappeningtome?_

What, was he going to be sold?

Human trafficking was very rampant even in a first world country like Japan, Allen knew that.

And it was very clever of them to choose him. He who didn't have any relatives, living alone in solidarity. No one would even look for him if he suddenly went missing.

Or maybe there were some people who would notice – his landlady, for example – but they would just probably think that he just went somewhere and decided to never return again.

Then he remembered his school.

Yeah. His teachers would definitely notice. Allen was hoping they would notice.

Then, what?

What would they do if they finally realized that Allen Walker, the lone student, was missing?

They would certainly call the police, and the police, in return, would do a few investigations here and there, and then what?

Allen shivered.

His eyes watered when he finally understood the painful fact that there was really no one who would go that far to know what happened to him.

His hands were beginning to get cold.

The sudden realization made him shiver more violently than before.

He was cold.

He didn't want to be here.

He wanted to go home.

He wanted to go home, please.

Home, he wanted... Go home...

"Please! Anyone!" He tried to shout loudly again. He struggled again and again. A futile struggle he understood, but did anyway until he felt the last string of his consciousness left him.

"P-please…" He felt his heavy eyelids closed – his mind drifted slowly into a numbed consciousness.

Slowly…

Lack of sleep, fatigue and crying overnight is taking its toll on him.

Slowly…

_Anyone… _

_Please…_

_Let me go…_

And he finally, let himself to be drifted away.

He was falling.

And he continued to fall for so long and everything just slowly faded away.

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"How is he?"

"He's asleep again sir," The black man answered politely.

"Good."

"But I do believe that we didn't give him enough sedative that's why he managed to stay awake for the whole evening."

The black man suddenly felt a cold wind touched his back.

His knees shivered.

Then, a cold and deadly pair of deep dark blue eyes that promises pain and anguish stared directly to him. Fear enveloped him. He offended the boss, that he was sure of.

He wanted to run away and immediately leave the room, but he thought that running now would just aggravate his situation.

"Are you, in some way, trying to question my decision?" said the cold, calculating voice.

"N-no s-such thing s-sir," he swallowed hard. "P-pardon my lack of manners, sir." Offending him was the last thing he wanted to do. He would rather insult a madman rather than challenge this man. He bowed before he left the room, his knees were still visibly shaking.

The man returned his gaze into the glass wall of the room. His eyes fell on the deeply asleep boy on the bed.

The boy was impossibly pale.

He was undeniably beautiful.

His long hair – _that _irrefutably beautiful long white hair.

And that smile.

That was where everything started.

He wasn't really fond of children, and he was no way interested in the same sex, but when his sight captured the lithe and small body of Allen Walker, his flowing silver hair, and that rarely seen smile, everything about him changed.

He became aggravated. He wanted to posses that young boy, bound him, and never let anyone see him again. He knew how other people viewed him and all their licentious stares that they used to mask with their indifference.

He knew how the boy tried to so hard to stay unnoticed and how deeply he was hurt by the rampant apathy he was receiving from others be it in school or in his neighborhood.

Little did he know that the indifference he was receiving were just a mask that people used to cover their hidden desires for him.

Allen Walker didn't know that.

But he knew.

He knew everything about the young man.

The things that could make him happy.

Things that could make him sad.

He knew all of it.

He had been watching Allen Walker for almost a year now after all.

Allen Walker was a rare beauty and they were all afraid to touch him, terrified that he would be crumble right before their very eyes.

They knew that they were not suited to be near Allen and he made sure that everybody understood it.

And those who dared to get closed were all disposed properly.

His thoughts were suddenly cut off when he saw the boy suddenly moved.

When the boy was on the verge of his consciousness not half an hour ago, he saw his eyes glittered with so many emotions.

Powerful yet innocent emotions.

It stirred so many feelings inside him.

Those pair of stunning gray eyes.

He saw the young man's lips quivered while he wore himself out by shouting and pulling his hands off of the bind.

And now, he watched the gentle moving of his chest, indicating that he is now really asleep and resting. He decided to visit the boy in his room and take a look of the situation himself. He will take good care of him from now on.

Never would he allow Allen Walker to be alone and lonely again.

He looked at the sleeping pale beauty again, happiness and possessiveness radiating on his aura. Along with something he can't quite put a finger on flooded on him.

_He's mine now._

The boy shifted his body slightly, revealing the pink buds on his snowy chest.

_Mine alone._

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**TBC**

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**A/N:** And there it was. I hope I didn't fail at rewriting this chapter. Thank you for reading. I'll try to re-upload the next chapters soon.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own DGM.

**Warning/s:** Unbeta'ed. Awkward grammar. Rewritten chapter. I changed some information that would probably affect the original course of the story.

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for those who reviewed first chapter. Here's the chapter two.

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_I can't help it,  
I love the broken ones,  
The ones who,  
Need the most patching up._

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"That would be 200¥, sir."

Lenalee smiled widely at the rather flab customer who in returned smiled at her widely, too. The man gave her exact amount and smiled once again before leaving the counter.

"Thank you for giving the exact amount."

She bowed and scanned her shop. All of the customers were now sitting comfortably and sipping their own coffees. Everybody looked quite contented and pleased.

They had a wide variety of customers here at _Dozo Cafe and Restaurant_ – students, businessmen and women.

Some were regulars, some were not.

Lenalee smiled to herself and went inside the white door where the kitchen was located. She only had four employees here but all of them were responsible and good enough for their jobs.

Lenalee was the one taking the counter. Her amazing coffee maker was Krory, a Romanian she met ten years ago through her grandfather (who, by the way, died three years ago). Krory and his grandfather were best of friends and when he died, he appointed Krory to be her guardian.

Her pâtissier, on the other hand, was Miranda, a German woman that she met a year ago one stormy night. The woman was shivering in cold that was why Lenalee decided to let her stay in the shop until the storm stopped. And she ended up staying much, much longer than that.

She was still looking for a pâtissier at that time and Miranda fortunately had a background on baking and that was how she landed on the job.

Krory and Miranda were both 29 years of age and became the best of friends.

And the two of them were a little... err eccentric on their own way.

Anyway.

The one who was responsible for taking the customers' orders and making sure their orders were accurately given was her rather quirky waiter, Daisya, a very loud (and by loud, she meant,_ loud_) 17-year old Turkish boy who loved to play pranks on Krory and Miranda – _gentle_ pranks, thank God. The two of them didn't seem to mind so Lenalee was just letting it passed. As a matter of fact, she could feel that Krory and Miranda considered the boy as a little brother, and maybe that was why Daisya was also affectionate to the, albeit overly.

And lastly, his Nell, a rather shy 19-year old boy was the one taking good care of the whole restaurant. He was her little helper; dish-washer, janitor, and an-all-around help in the shop. He's a nice boy, obedient, and she had no problems about his work. He was, in fact, very diligent and responsible towards his job.

And Lenalee couldn't deny that the whole cleanliness of the shop depended on his quite delicate hands.

Her only problem with him was that he didn't talk that much.

Lenalee sighed as she watched the lithe body of Allen moved while sweeping the floor.

If only he would talk a little more about himself.

_He is just so cute! _Her mind shouted as her fingers twitched in agony.

_I so want to cuddle him and hug him and_―

She faked a cough as she tried to look normal even though her mind was doing some flipping as of the moment.

You see, Nell was Lenalee's favorite.

For her, Nell was the little brother she never had.

She always looked out for him in her own ways because Nell needed some constant caring. She always made sure that the boy was getting enough rest and eating properly because the boy would often forgot to take care of himself.

Lenalee knew that she was treating him different than the rest of her employees, but she knew that Krory, Miranda, and Daisya perfectly understood why she was so worked up about the boy.

Because they were all like that, too.

They loved to spoil Nell until the boy would blush like he was dying and all.

Nell was just a little too delicate and fragile. Too different from other boys his age.

Lenalee sighed.

Daisya was a lot bigger than Nell. However, despite the two-year age gap of the latter, Nell looked like a 12 year old boy who just hit puberty. He was already 19 and young men his age should already be developing muscles and some 'adult hairs' on their bodies.

Daisya was already hoarding a lot of hairs on his legs and Lenalee couldn't help but shiver at the thought.

No, he really didn't want his Nell to be like that but he was just… too skinny and _hairless_. Really.

She looked at the boy's face again – a perfect example of an androgynous countenance – a kind of face that the entertainment industry would give anything to have.

He could be a charming sweetheart, a model, an actor. Nell could definitely pass being one of those and he wouldn't have to work this hard anymore.

Nell could choose to live extravagantly, really.

Lenalee was actually wondering if the boy had been scouted before. But as she continued watching the boy, she grimaced when she noticed the 'usual' getup the boy would always don when he was working inside the restaurant. Every day without fail. And she wondered how many scout agents had been turned off by Nell's 'fashion sense'.

She was quite sure he had broken many of their hearts by now.

It was breaking her heart, too, seeing those horrendous things hanging on Nell's face.

Nell was always wearing a hat that almost hid his entire face. And what's more, he had these large, thick-framed eyeglasses that cover his soulful, grey eyes.

It was such a waste if you would ask her, hiding such beauty. She didn't know if Nell was doing it on purpose because, really, it didn't make a sense. Was he hiding from someone? Was he some kind of a criminal and the police were all looking for him that was why he had to put on a disguise?

_As if that is even possible_, she thought, her eyebrows were twitching.

It sounded so ridiculous.

_Look at that boy_, Lenalee crossed her arms, her eyes were roaming on Nell's lithe, badly slouched body. _Does he look like he can be a secret serial killer? He can't even look people in the eyes! He can't even look at me directly. _

She frowned at the realization. Well, they all knew that the boy was really excessively shy at times, and it didn't really bother her before because Nell was treating everybody like _that_ since he first came here. Krory, Miranda, and even the loud-mouthed Daisya couldn't make the boy smile that much, or talk that much.

Nell was treating everybody frigidly, in fact. He was too guarded. Lenalee could feel that the boy was afraid of something or maybe she was just overly thinking things precisely because it concerned Nell, but really, sometimes, Lenalee couldn't help but think that maybe, he had experienced something awful before, like treachery or something.

"Nell," Lenalee gently called the boy's name.

Nell hurriedly left his work and moved towards her.

"Yes ma'am?" said a small, fragile voice.

Lenalee met Nell two years ago and it was just like how he met Miranda.

He found the boy almost dead out in the snow, his whole body was beginning to turned into an ugly shade of blue. His breathing was erratic, and he was wheezing very badly. She immediately drove him to the nearest hospital and there, she learned that the boy had a serious case of asthma and was in a very critical condition. He was out there in the cold for God knew how long and they were all afraid that the boy's weak and frail physical condition would deteriorate more if the asthma attacks didn't stop soon.

Miraculously, he had survived the night.

Lenalee was so happy that she had forgotten to call Krory that night to tell her that she was alright. (He ended up searching for her all night and she had to constantly apologize for the next three days for what she had done.)

After three weeks of hospitalization, the boy who introduced himself as Nell, was discharged.

And that was how Lenalee took him in.

Well, temporarily, as far as Nell was concern.

Her uncle once told her that her kind attitude towards strangers could put her in danger sooner or later, but she couldn't help it. Her grandfather taught her to be kind to others and be caring at all times.

And so far, being kind had led her to her four devoted employees.

At first, Nell was adamant on paying for his hospital bills, telling her that he would work for all the money she had spent on him. But Lenalee insisted that she wasn't asking for any payment for her help and told him that she would be more than glad if he would stay with her at her home.

He didn't understand it at first.

He kept on saying, 'I will pay, you, I swear", that she had to explain to him again that she wasn't really expecting anything in return.

After a few arguments here and there, she finally convinced the boy.

It had been very hard on Lenalee's part.

"Really? Y-you will take me in?" He said, astonishment and something else she couldn't quite a finger on was written on his face.

Lenalee happily said yes as he squeezed the white haired boy in her arms.

She felt him became rigid so he detangled herself from him. She just brushed it off thinking, _'Oh, because we just met and all. He is just shy.'_

Later, she would understand this behavior of Nell – a kind of disturbing behavior of being exceptionally wary about people touching him even a slightest.

Since then, she became very careful about the 'touch-me-not thing' and she made sure that the other three understood it as well.

"Ma'am?"

"Huh?" a small voice suddenly interrupted her musing. "W-what?" She saw Nell looking at her rather peculiarly.

She saw the boy swallowed. Lenalee could almost hear what he was thinking; _did I do something wrong? Am I going to be reprimanded? Is he mad? Hiiieeeh!_

Ah. The usual train of thoughts.

"Y-you called for me, ma'am…" He asked again, fear and uncertainty was all over his small face.

Then she remembered that she actually called him a while ago. "Ooooh… right. Sorry." She smiled at him, trying to ease the sudden tension welling up in his chest.

"I was just wondering if you could help Daisya today. Yeah, uhm… because for some strange reason, there are a lot of customers coming and it's only…" she looked at her watch, "…nine in the morning and the shop is almost full. Daisya could really use a little help today. Is that okay with you Nell?" She smiled again and patted the boy gently on the shoulder.

She felt the boy stiffened on her touch.

Ooops.

Lenalee wanted to smack herself.

The boy holds tightly to his cleaning broom stick and gently nodded. It's as if he really doesn't want to go out there and face the world.

Well, he had no choice. And as much as Lenalee hated pushing Nell to his limits, the boy had to interact with other people too, you know.

"It's okay Nell if you're not comfortable with it." She faked a solemn face. "I mean, I think Daisya can actually managed by himself and—"

"No!" Nell almost shouted that accompanied by the sudden extreme redness of his face. Lenalee was surprised by the sudden change in the boy's voice. It's not every day that you would hear Nell raise his voice like that.

"I mean," he cleared his throat and fidgeted, "I'll d-do it… I'll do it."

Lenalee's smile widened exaggeratedly.

_Got you..._

"Alright! Thanks a lot Nell. It'll be a big help. Not to mention that Daisya would surely be thrilled working with you today!"

"I-I hope so," the boy muttered.

He was now looking at his feet. Again.

Well, you couldn't expect an abrupt change, right? Everything should be gradual, Lenalee reminded herself.

Lenalee just smiled and ruffled the boy's hat.

"And oh, one more thing; It's not ma'am. It's Lenalee, okay?"

The boy just nodded.

She was taking her time admiring the pinkish blush that was slowly creeping onto the boy's angelic face.

_Totally adorable. _

_And cute._ Lenalee giggled to herself.

"Lenalee! Geez, they are beginning to suffocate me! Can you at least help me out here? For Pete's sake, as far as I know, I only have one gorgeous body. I can't serve all these _wonderful _and _magnificent _people all at once!" They heard a voice echoed in the kitchen.

It was Daisya.

Lenalee sighed. And _that _was totally not cute. And he was _waaay_ younger than Nell too! Daisya could always make her day a living hell. All those shouting, non-stop story-telling, nonsense gags and –

"Lenaleee!"

"Shut your butt!" Lenalee shouted, too, her eyes were beginning to look like small mongo beads. "You're unbelievably noisy, you little dimwit! And it's _ma'am_ for you kiddo!"

"Yeah. Yeah. Just get your ass over here so you can help me. C'mon! Do you want me to drag you here, myself?"

Lenalee sighed and turn to Nell again. "Change your clothes. It'll be a very long day. And thanks again Nell."

"Y-you're welcome, ma'a—

She raised her right eyebrow.

"—Lenalee."

"There. It isn't so hard right?" She hugged him tightly again.

Adorable. Adorable.

"Lenalee!"

She almost rolled her eyes.

_Daisya, you prick!_

"Coming!"

"Oh, Lenalee, another thing; how are you suppose to _shut _your butt?"

They heard the customers laughed hysterically outside and a loud, "Thank you! Thankyou!".

Lenalee grinded her teeth, fist were clenching on her sides.

"Oh, I am so going to show you how, my little Daisya. Just wait me there..." Lenalee darkly muttered, her hands were twitching in anticipation.

Then, she looked at Nell again, smiling.

Nell shivered.

"Change your uniform, alright?"

Nell nodded vigorously, mouth was dropping.

Lenalee looked really murderous just now.

He watched as she marched to the door and slammed it.

Nell winced upon hearing a loud wailing outside. He could hear Lenalee beating the crap out of Daisya much to the hilarity of the customers. He shuddered when he realized that he could be the next if he didn't hurry and change his uniform.

Lenalee was really kind, but she could be very unsightly when she was mad.

Nell sighed as he covered again his head and fix his eyeglasses on his nose.

He would surely have a long day today.

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**TBC**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own –Man.

**Warnings:** Unbeta'ed. Awkward grammar.

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_"People or stars_  
_Regard me sadly, _

_I disappoint them."_

— Sylvia Plath, **"Sheep in Fog"**

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"Two cappuccinos."

Lenalee couldn't help but stare to the man in front of her.

He had a long hair that was almost touching his unbelievably thin waist line. Despite the lanky physical appearance of the man, he was quite beautiful. Lenalee heard that models had lanky bodies. Well, this one sure was gorgeous and there was no doubt about it.

He was an Asian, Lenalee instantly recognized. She was an Asian, too. The mad had a beautiful Asian feature that looked quite stubborn. He was arguing with his companion, aloud-mouth, and energetic red-haired man with an eye-patch. She could almost see a few veins popping on his head. Lenalee blinked a few times before bowing her head and taking the order of the two peculiar men.

"Will you shut your goddamn mouth, Lavi?" The long-haired deadpanned as he looked menacingly at his companion. "I swear I'll kill you myself one day."

Lenalee winced at the rough baritone voice of the man. Funny how a beautiful man could could sound so unbelievably mannish.

"But Yuu-chan, you are not getting any younger. You have to get yourself a girlfriend pronto or else, you'll wither."

Lenalee could see the tremulous anger that the man in front of him was trying to contain.

The man was _that_ old? He looked pretty young to her…

"SHUT UP, BAKA-USAGI."

"But Yuu-chan!"

"Do not call me 'Yuu-chan!'"

Lenalee decided to cut off their conversation for the sake of the customers at the back of the line.

"Sir, I've already placed your order. You can sit while waiting for it," she smiled as bowed to them. The Asian just '_che'd_' and walked away from the counter.

The red-haired man smiled to her, said "Thanks", and followed the man.

She bowed again, smiling.

She sighed. This would be a very long day…

A new costumer popped in front of her.

"Welcome!"

"You know that man, Miss?" It was teenage girl who was wearing too much make-up on her face. "He looks gorgeous."

Too bad. Lenalee bet that the girl was already beautiful even without those eye shadow, artificial blush, and overly pinkish lipstick that just made her looked like a trying-hard clown.

Lenalee smiled and shook her head. "No, I didn't know him," she politely said, smiling inwardly to herself.

The girl giggled, "Oh... Too bad, then. Do you have a strawberry cake?"

"Yes."

"Please give me one. Then, a brewed coffee."

"Right away."

Lenalee smiled as she wrote down her order.

From there, she couldn't help but hear the man cussing in the air like a sailorman.

The female customers seemed not to mind though. They were all staring at the Asian with dreamy, half-lidded eyes while some of their male companions were all gritting their teeth in annoyance.

Yep. This would be a long, long day.

It was a good thing that Nell agreed to help them out today. Well, if the boy seriously said no, Lenalee knew that she wouldn't really press him to do something he clearly didn't want to do. But since he said yes... Lenalee smiled as she looked at the back of the shop where she left Allen a while ago.

One step at a time.

Lenalee nodded to herself as she took another order from a customer.

One step at a time.

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Nell couldn't stop his knees in shaking.

There were a lot of things that was making him scared and nervous today.

Daisya was hovering on him too closely. The boy's eyebrows are arching perfectly. He was about to push the teenager and run screaming in fright when he remembered Lenalee.

He was supposed to help Daisya.

He was not supposed to push him and run screaming from so much fright.

Right.

He was supposed to help this boy at receiving orders from the customers and that would mean taking his hat off and showing his face to other people and start talking to them.

Oh, GOD.

He was totally freaking out. Really.

But he couldn't just run away. It was Lenalee who personally requested this. And there was no in way in hell he would let her down.

But that, ladies and gentlemen, didn't stop his knees from shaking and his heart from beating so fast like it was going to burst from his chest.

No. For Lenalee, he would do anything.

The woman saved her when he was almost thinking of just killing himself and ending his suffering.

At that time, he just wanted to vanish for good so that he would never have to deal with painful memories and problems anymore. He was a coward and Nell knew that.

But the kind woman who found him offered her warm hands to him and gave him a job, shelter, and everything that he needed. And never once did she ask about his past. And for that, he was bloody thankful.

Doing his job properly was the only thing he could do to show her how grateful he was for the help she extended to him.

"Hey, buddy. Are you seriously alright?"

Nell looked at Daisya and nodded.

"You're paler than before. I know you're pale but this is ridiculous. You have to go out more, you know. Bask in the sun and all that. It'll help your complexion. You look like shit like that, seriously."

Nell fixed his eyeglass on his nose. "I'm okay. T-this is just how I really look since I was a kid." He swallowed hard. _I'm okay. Nothing's gonna happen. Everything will be alright._

"You mean, you are always this pale? I seriously thought you have a skin problem or something..."

Nell blushed as he tried to cover his face with his hat. His hands were trembling slightly from Daisya's prying eyes.

Daisya sighed. "Don't worry. I know you don't like people that much. And besides the witch's gonna chop off my head if something actually happened to you. So, listen. All you have to do is to ask what was their order and I'm the one who's gonna go and get it to the kitchen. So that you'll not trip on your feet or something remotely close to that. 'Kay?"

Nell slightly smiled and meekly nodded.

This caught Daisya off guard.

He scratched his head as he looked away from Nell.

"And one more thing, don't smile at me like that. God knows I might jump on you. Even though I'm not swinging that way," he irritably said.

A tiny voice inside his head couldn't help add, _well, not yet._

This not-so-innocent remark earned a year's worth of flush from Nell.

Dasiya's eyes widened in disbelief. Really, he was just kidding! Did he take it seriously?

Gah! Damn this boy and his androgynous face!

"Stop blushing! I was just kidding!"

Nell looked like a blushing drenched cat. "I am certainly n-not b-blushing!"

Diaya decided to stop teasing the boy. It was beginning to feel like a double-edge sword!

He decided to play it cool. "Yeah. Yeah. And I'm a Jew."

Nell's eyes widened. "You are? I thought you're from Turkey?"

Daisya stopped. This kid really had some naiveté problems… _And he was so slow, too. Where did that witch get this boy?_

"Yes. I'm from Turkey. And the last time I checked, I'm still Turkish. So ,yeah." He sighed again.

"But y-you said–"

He cut him off, "ANYWAY. Let's go back to our original conversation."

Nell nodded.

The smaller boy blinked a few times. Daisya almost groaned loudly. _And now he's displaying his freakin' long eyelashes. I might really gonna swing _that _way if this will keep on happening. I have to stay away from this kid! _He thought, completely forgetting that Nell was actually two years older than him.

..

"You need to take off your hat kid. It's inappropriate to wear a hat while serving the customers." Daisya said while rummaging through his locker searching for a spare waiter uniform for Nell. "And come to think of it, I haven't seen your head even once. What, you have an egg at the top of it or something?" He laughed at his own joke.

"Of c-course not! It's just that I don't like taking i-it off." He heard the boy said.

Daisya pondered on the voice of the kid. Now that he was not facing him and couldn't see his face, hearing him talk kind of felt like he was talking to a girl. The voice was so soft, velvety – like a chocolate – and it really sounded like a female. Well, not really that really soft but it was clearly undeveloped. He wondered if it would still change as Nell aged. Daisya's voice certainly did these last few years.

Nell seldom talked to them – except from Lenalee and Miranda. Krory was always busy and Daisya was always outside basking in the attention of the customer, which he loved very much, so he really didn't know if his voice had always been like that.

"Why? Are you bald? Do you have a serious case of hair loss?

"No."

"Then what?"

"I have a v-very long hair…"

"…."

"…."

"Wha?"

"I have a very long hair."

"…."

"…."

"Are you kidding me or something?"

"No."

Daisya sighed again. This time, much, much harder. Like he was trying to blow off some invisible irritating termites on his nose.

"Okay… Let me get this straight; You have a _very _long hair that's why you don't like taking your hat off. Am I correct?"

"Y-yeah."

"Okay. So what if you have a long hair? You can cut it anytime you want. It's _your _hair anyway."

"I can't."

Daisya felt like banging his head on his locker.

"Why?"

"I promised my sister I won't cut it and… she liked it this way."

He found it. Daisya found his old pair of uniform from two years ago. Well, it's a bit big for Nell because, he's not _that_ small when he was 15 years old. But, oh well.

"Here." He faced the boy and let him see the uniform. "It's kinda big but I think you'll manage."

The boy just nodded.

"Alright, let's see what we can do about your_ hair problem._ Why don't we start by taking off your hat and let me see how _huge_ and _serious_ this problem of yours is." Daisya said, arching his eyebrows.

The boy was obviously reluctant, but he removed it anyway.

And Daisya, for the nineteen years of his life has never been shocked.

Now, he knew that Nell had always been a beautiful boy. He had a beautiful face, he had a procelain complexion and it didn't really help that he had such fragile-looking body. And he was small.

As a matter of fact, when he first saw _her_, Daisya really thought _she _was a girl even if _she_ was always wearing an odd-looking hat that hid _her_ hair. He never doubted it until that fateful day when he accidentally saw Nell changing _her_ clothes in the _men's_ locker room. He thought _she _just mistaken the girl's locker room for the boy's locker room. He was about to reprimand _her _and tell _her_ she got the wrong room when he saw _her _taking off _her _clothes. This stopped Daisya from moving. Well, he didn't mean to peak, really. His body just froze there and he couldn't move, promise. Nell just looked so ethereal and sinfully beautiful at that moment that he couldn't tear his eyes away from _her_.

And if Allen turned out to be really a girl, Lenalee would surely have his balls. Not his head, mind you. She knew that crunching his balls and taking it off away from his handsome body would kill him faster that taking off his head.

As it turned out, Nell was a boy and he, unfortunately didn't have tits.

Daisya couldn't really believe what he saw.

He was... fantasizing a man... all these times.

He didn't know what happen next because he fainted, as pathetic as it sounded.

And now, it was about to happen again.

Daisya thought that Nell was already too beautiful to be included in the male horde, but his hair was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

He already had an asexual countenance and having a long, flowing straight white hair didn't really help his case.

Nell was ruggedly breathing, obviously afraid of someone, other than himself, seeing his hair. And why not? He could get rape by flaunting that thing to other people, really. (Or men, for that matter.)

(Even though that probably wasn't what scaring Nell the most. Daisya doubted that Nell was even capable of thinking that way.)

They wouldn't mind jumping on Nell.

Dasiya wouldn't mind jumping on him, you know.

He wouldn't mind to be called a homo if that would mean he could have him.

Daisya trembled.

His thoughts were now starting to scare him.

But Lenalee chopping off his _future_ scared him the most.

That woman was a devil in disguise. She could really do it if she wanted to.

Nell was off limits, that he perfectly knew.

And besides, what the fuck was he thinking? He was straight, for crying out loud. He couldn't be swayed just like that. He loved chasing skirts and panties and whatnots.

For sure, he couldn't bear sucking somebody's dick. If that would be the case, he would rather suck his, thank you very much.

He gulped before faking a smile. "You look normal. What are you so scared about? Just secure your hair at your back with a rubber band or something. We don't want our customers to think we are unhygienic, right?"

Nell surprisingly relaxed when he saw that Daisya wasn't making fun of him and what he just saw. The boy nodded and grasped the uniform in his hands tightly, silently saying to himself that he would do his best to do the job that was given to him.

Daisya smacked Nell on the back and the smaller boy almost banged his face on his locker's door. He coughed as he tried to regain his footing and stared at Daisya who was now grinning from ear to ear.

Nell thought that he was just punched.

_ "__Iyi şanşlar__,"_ Dasiya said before he disappeared from kitchen. "Good luck."

..

..

..

Kanda Yuu was clearly seething in aggravation.

He was angry and frustrated.

Lavi was being his usual stupid self again and the main target object of that stupidity was none other him. Fuck. If only he could really kill the bastard. If only he could kill his own cousin then the world–_particularly his world_–would be such a bliss. But he couldn't. His world couldn't never be peaceful and be Lavi-free. Her father would kill him. And that's the last thing he wanted. A world that was Kanda-free.

Lavi was telling him that he should already get a girl.

A steady one, on top of that.

He couldn't even bear walking side by side by any girl.

They were whiny, annoying, attention whores.

Okay, that was exaggeration. He actually knew a few women who were not like that, but they were all just colleagues. He always denied it, but he truly respected them for what they were.

However, Kanda just couldn't see them any more than a respected colleague no matter how hard he squint his eyes and see a flowery background lacing around them.

They were friends.

Period.

And it wasn't because they all lack sex appeal, too.

In fact, few of them were models respected in their chosen careers. Some of them would drop a hint every now and then, but when Kanda didn't even budge at their innocent and sophisticated hints, they all quietly backed down.

He knew that there was something wrong with him.

But it was something that didn't bother him even in a slightest.

He would probably be like this for the rest of his life.

"Nee, Yuu-chan, I'll introduce you to a friend tomorrow. I'll be sending her pictures –"

Kanda snarled, "Stop doing that, Baka-Usagi. I'm beginning to get seriously irritated. I am warning you."

Lavi softened his gaze on his cousin. "She's dead, Yuu. You can never bring her back again. Stop living in the past."

There were a lot of things you could say and do to piss Kanda Yuu. But if there was something that would gravely and officially earn his wrath, it was to mention _her_ name in front of him.

Nobody mentioned _her_ in front of Kanda.

Without a word, Kanda lifted his fist. He knew he was going to cause a commotion in the middle of the day but right now, he just didn't fucking care. He was furious. He was fucking furious. Sure, Lavi and Kanda were cousins. They were a family. But right now, all he could understand was the fact that Lavi stepped on a sleeping landmine inside of him.

The people inside the coffee shop all screamed like in the movies where a protagonist was going to be hit by the bastard antagonist.

He didn't care.

He didn't fucking care –

But instead of hitting Lavi's face, Kanda Yuu hit something entirely different.

He heard the ugly sound his right elbow connecting with something soft and the repulsive sound of plates and cups shattering at his right side where his fist was currently suspended in the air.

He immediately turned around to see who he hit and his jaw almost dropped when he saw a pale girl lying unconscious on the floor.

All he could hear was the loud and erratic beatings of his heart and Lavi gaping at him, saying,

"You hit a girl, Yuu."

..

..

..

**TBC**


End file.
